This weekend is my first in the sublet E and I are splitting during the course of our separation. The kids stay at home and we switch time with them. I have them from Monday morning until Friday evening and then spend my weekend in the sublet. It is small, furnished, with everything I need. (Except a coffee maker.) It’s in one of Boston’s many college neighborhoods, which is actually nice because there’s a decent amount of hustle and bustle on the street and I’m close to the T.

But it’s the alone time that’s so strange. I’ve been wanting it and wishing for it for ages, it seems. Now that it’s here I realize how long it’s been since I was really alone. E and I have lived together for over 6 years. It’s just different when you’re alone in a space you occupy with someone else. 

Now I find myself picking up the same habits I used to have when I lived alone. I’ve forgotten what it’s like and what you do to punctuate the rhythms of the day.

I narrate my life in my head. I forgot I did that. There’s rarely any room for an inner voice in my life now, it’s loud and busy. But here there is so much silence, even in busy shops and restaurants and trains, that I find that internal narration picking back up. I think it’s one of the reasons I always fancied myself a writer, walking by a flower I can’t just think, I am walking by a flower. Instead I think of how I would describe the flower if I was writing an essay or memoir or narrative of my day. It’s now a tulip, just past its peak, with the petals starting to fall outwards and it leads to some kind of meditation on how tulips are all potential, how their value is all before they really bloom, etc. etc. etc.

I people-watch. I wasn’t on Twitter last time I was single, it’s lovely to have some place to point out the girl I see on the T wearing a top with a sheer back who is wearing a rather dingy white bra underneath and surely didn’t have a friend okay her outfit because she looks sad from the back with the hooks of her bra visible. Also the girl in white lace formal shorts this morning. Because those just shouldn’t exist. And you have to admit that in 10 years we will all look back at Toms shoes and wonder why everyone wanted something so ugly.

Because it is Boston, though it is a student-heavy neighborhood it isn’t all students. Grad students and young couples are here. There’s a decent number of old people. And now and then I see moms who look like they’ve come straight out of suburbia, I assume they’re trickling down from the nice houses up the hill.

I wonder what people think when they see me. Do I blend in here? I feel like the shape of my body tells my story, the small but obvious swell of my tummy tells the world I’ve had children recently. There is still a ring on my finger. But I walk alone without any family around me to give me context. Do I still blend in as a student the way I used to when I taught on campuses? I doubt it. At least not the current version of the female student, who seems to look put together even when she’s in her gym clothes. Lululemon yoga pants and skinny jeans everywhere. Sunglasses. Long sleek ponytails. I ventured out this morning in my pajama pants and a hoodie and feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. In my day this was acceptable morning-coffee-run wear, I’m not sure if things have changed or if it’s a Northeastern thing or what. 

At first I wondered how I would squeeze in any relaxation. I still have Graham’s soccer practice on Saturday, which will take up more than a couple hours, including travel time. I have lots of blog work to do. (SELF-PIMP ALERT my new site Crayons & Coupons is now live and I hope to put a lot of my products-that-are-cool-and-stuff-that-is-on-sale info there to keep my blog a little more me.) Sunday I have an afternoon and an evening event. It would be a packed weekend, right?

But it isn’t. The bed is hard and I can’t seem to sleep past 8. This morning (I’m writing this on Sunday) I woke up at 6:30 and just stayed in bed until after 8 because I refused to get up. When there’s no distractions to worry about it takes me a shockingly short amount of time to get ready. When there’s nothing to clean, no laundry to fold, no meals to prepare, the day is just empty. After I got back from soccer I had hours upon hours to fill. 

Time moves more slowly when you’re by yourself. 

There is only so much reading, so much work you can do on your computer, so many jaunts out for a cup of coffee before you find yourself confronted with hours to fill and nothing to fill them with. 

I’m sure I’ll adjust. In a lot of ways I’m happy with the solitude. I don’t necessarily want to fill it with lunches and dinners and drinks and nights out and brunches and shopping and whatever. I want to find a balance and I’ll definitely be working on it. 

The best part of the weekend, though, has been seeing the kids for that hour on Saturday. Why are they so much more beautiful and sweet and pleasant when you get them for a short, specific period of time? Even if you just saw them less than a day ago? 

Tomorrow I go back to my soft bed and my loud life for 4 and a half days. I don’t know how re-entry will feel. I’m just figuring this out as I go.

The post Alone Time appeared first on Don't Mind the Mess.

I have to say I’m pretty excited about the possibility of being blurbed. I think that means I’ve officially made it in the book reviewing world.But this isn’t all about me. It’s actually about the book they contacted me about: The Other Typist. My Goodreads reviews are sometimes long but sometimes short and sweet. The one I wrote for The Other Typist isn’t too long but there’s one sentence that basically sums it up:

If you took last year’s RULES OF CIVILITY and gave it a Hitchcockian twist, you’d have THE OTHER TYPIST. A quick and smart novel of suspense.

Rules of Civility was a really fun novel of romance and friendship and class set in 1930s Manhattan centered around a young single working woman. The Other Typist is 1920s Manhattan and a psychological thriller but still has a lot of the same issues of friendship and class and betrayal. 

I love the basic hook of it: Rose is not just any typist, she’s a typist for the police. She accompanies the police officers into the interrogation rooms and types up confessions. She’s heard all kinds of terrible things. She has her own troubled past, but she’s managed to make her way on her own and she’s happy with her life. Until the department hires a new typist: Odalie. Odalie is everything Rose isn’t, beautiful and charming and in control of all the men around her.

At first Rose and Odalie circle each other warily but as they become friends things start to get dark and dangerous. 

Full of speakeasies and art deco, the setting is a lot of fun. And Rose is one of many great narrators who has a strong personality that makes you want to be on her side but also makes you suspicious. (Another one, coming next month, is in The Execution of Noa P. Singleton. Also a psychological thriller, though this one is modern.)

The Other Typist makes a great read that’s hard to put down. Definitely one almost any reader can enjoy.

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I’ve talked a little before about the Year of Jess. This year I’m taking back myself and trying to move into a more mature and sophisticated style. I don’t have a big budget to go buy myself a new wardrobe or a closet full of shoes. So instead I’m gradually going piece by piece, little by little. But one of the easiest decisions about how to up my style game was something I already use every day: my glasses.

Practical but Boring

I’ve worn the same set of frames since I first found out I had to wear glasses at the ripe old age of 26 when I did a physical for a new job and told the lady administering my vision test that the machine was broken because the letters were all blurry. My frames have been with me for 7 years and while they compliment my face shape they haven’t done me a lot of favors style-wise.

I want my glasses to do a few things:

• Highlight my best features. I have nice eyes but my cheeks are quite chubby and I have a weak jaw. I want frames that draw the eye up. And while I know a rectangular frame works well for the chubby-cheeked crowd, I also want more of my eye on view.
• Be a daily accessory. I don’t have to wear my glasses for reading and such, it’s more for far-vision, but it’s best I wear them often. I want something that will work with a lot of different outfits and styles.
• Contribute to my style. I’m done with boring frames. I want a set of frames that people compliment the way they’d compliment a cute pair of earrings or a nice shade of lipstick.

Then there’s one other obstacle: shopping for glasses. When I had an eye exam last week it was awful. Not the exam, but having to do it with a 1-year-old in tow. When I have time alone I don’t want to spend it doing this kind of stuff. And that baby wasn’t going to let me stand around trying on glasses for a few hours.

So I reached out to Fetch Eyewear. I chose them because 1) they let you try on at home, 2) they have frames that are classic, stylish and distinctive and 3) they’re a nonprofit who support animal rescue. (All together now, awwwww.)

They’re basically perfect for me and I loved the variety of styles. Because I wanted to branch out I chose 6 different frames that covered a spectrum from rectangular to slightly more square/round. If you want to be more specific, the site lets you sort frames by face shape as well as by width. I have a wide head but my eyes are close, so I stuck to narrow & medium frames that worked for oval faces. I should also mention they make prescription frames, reading frames and sunglasses. Awesome.

Also: lifetime warranty against breakage. Which is a big deal because did you see what happened to my last set of frames? (The perpetrator is unknown…)

Once you choose the frames you’d like to try you get a package of them in the mail along with a return postage slip. I loved the Fetch frame box (you can see it displayed in the pics below) and I toted it around with me for a couple days so I could try on a pair in front of someone whenever the urge struck.

I also found all the frames to be sturdy and beautiful in person. Photographs just can’t portray that. They’re well-made without being heavy. And they have a great variety of colors and finishes. None of them pinched on my wide head. A big plus.

One of my favorite things? A lot of these frames are unisex. And I love looking at the pictures on the models, one frame can look so different. (This was proven true by my friend Kathy, who tried on all 6 pairs of mine and looked amazing in all of them while I felt like there were a couple more obvious choices for me.)

Let me introduce you to my favorite pairs and give you an idea of what Fetch frames look like:

After a while all frames can look the same but I was amazed at how subtle changes in shape made such a huge difference on my face. For example, the straight brow of the Jill seemed to dominate my face while the more feminine Sadie looks somehow delicate despite its strongly shaped corners. You really do have to put them on. (You can see my frightening no-makeup frame try-on pics here.)

For me, I felt that only a couple frames really didn’t work. Besides that it was just about picking a style. 

It ultimately came down to Sadie and Alex. While I also loved the Carolyn, neutrals don’t work for my coloring. (Note to Fetch: please make Carolyn in a lovely blue-ish shade, okay? I would get them in a heartbeat.) When I crowdsourced, both frames had strong fans and I had to really think. I’m getting down to the final decision and I’ll get back to you on that.

But right now I want to talk about you. YOU and your frames. As I’ve been talking about glasses with people for the last couple months in anticipation of this post I found that almost everyone who wears glasses wants a new pair. You want to try new colors and styles. You feel restless and a lot like I did. So let’s make it happen, okay? 

Fetch Eyewear has graciously agreed to provide a set of frames to the winner of this giveaway and I so want one of you to have as much fun as I’ve been having picking out and trying on frames. 

Since their glasses are so much fun to look at and have such a neat style I want to run this whole giveaway around that: style.

I built myself a nice little Fetch Style Pinterest Board and that’s going to be your mission, should you choose to accept it. Finding the right frames means finding something that fits your style, or maybe the style you want to have. Here’s a peek at my Fetch Style board. I pinned the Alex and the Sadie and then went crazy in all directions. Not just clothes and shoes and jewelry, but where I want to go in my frames and the puppy I’d like to take on a walk in them. (I don’t technically WANT Rachel McAdams, I just want her haircut.)

TAP

And now you get the chance to pin your wear to a new set of frames. Here’s your instructions.

1. Follow Me (Jellyfish Web/jessicaesquire) and Fetch Eyewear on Pinterest.
2. Create a board for your pins. You can call it “Fetch Style” though that’s not required.
3. Pin 2 pairs of Fetch frames to your board. This is your style base, where you’ll draw your inspiration. (When you’re looking at the pair you like in the color you like, you’ll see some social media buttons right below the description of the frame. The Pinterest button will let you pin them super easy.)
4. (Updated rule!!) Please re-pin the Giveaway pin. (The hashtag is being a little unreliable and I don’t want to miss you.) Here’s the link.
5. Fill your board with your style. Tell us what you want to wear, what you want to do, what you want your house to look like, etc. 
6. Make sure all your pins have the #fetchstyle hashtag in the pin description.

The top 3 boards will be selected by me (and showed off on the blog next week) and then the folks over at Fetch will pick a winner with their favorite board. (It’s very likely that pics of cute pets will help you win favor with them…)

You can leave a comment here with the link to your board to help us find it. They do men’s and women’s frames (not kids, sorry) so feel free to do a board for you or your friend or your partner or your dad or whoever. Just show us your style. Full rules at the end of the post.

Frames are one of those things that can take a bite into your budget, so I know this will be huge for the winner. (Although Fetch frames are nicely priced at $125.) You may even want 2. (Can I admit that I kind of want both of my final 2 frames?)If you have questions about what kind of prescriptions they can fill and whether you can use your flex spending account, check out the Fetch FAQ.

So get to work, my pinning friends, I’m super excited to see what you get. And you can follow along by using the #fetchstyle hashtag on Pinterest.

Rules: No purchase necessary. By leaving a comment you agree to the rules of this giveaway. One entry per household. Limited to entrants over 18 in the US and Canada. Contest begins as of the time of this post and entries are final on Wednesday, May 22nd at 6 pm Eastern Time. The winner will receive a set of Fetch Eyewear Frames, a retail value of $125 US. The number of eligible entries received will determine the odds of winning. Three finalists will be chosen by Don’t Mind the Mess. The winner will be selected by Fetch Eyewear. The winner will be chosen based on the pinterest board described in the instructions. Winner will be notified by email and must respond within 48 hours to receive their prize. If the winner does not respond within that time, a new winner will be chosen. The prize will be provided by Fetch Eyewear. Don’t Mind the Mess is not responsible for any problems with receipt of the prize. This contest is governed by the rules of Massachusetts, void where prohibited.

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Getting toilet training off the ground isn’t always easy. But once you’re finally started you’re so grateful to be moving forward that you don’t necessarily worry about the sacrifices you’ve made.

When it came to training Graham, once we were a few weeks in he was doing awesome.

But we had a problem.

A pop problem.

The kid wanted “pops,” aka DumDums, all the time. The pops were his reward for using the toilet appropriately and he wanted them all the time.

Luckily it was around this time that we got our first Potty Time Chart from Tick Tock. 

If you’re stuck giving your kid candy, let me tell you how we put a stop to the pop and made stickers a part of our life.

Step 1: Taper back the Treats

Once a kid masters something, start giving them less of a reward. We pulled back from a pop to a couple of M&Ms. Then down to 1 M&M. And then we brought in the stickers.

Honestly, I didn’t think he’d go with it but he did. The addition of the stickers as something NEW and FUN made it an easy transition.

If your kid isn’t handling the transition well, it helps to conveniently run out of treats.

Step 2: Set Up a Sticker Routine

Structure helps. It makes the rewards feel bigger than they are. The stickers themselves are really helpful for this.

With different colors you can assign to different tasks you can reward even small things with different color stickers. You can stick to their system or make up your own. We did 2 stickers for some things and 1 for others.

Step 3: Let Them Be In Control

The best thing about the chart is that it hangs on a doorknob so it’s at the child’s eye level and they can do it all themselves. We actually didn’t use the color coding and just let Graham pick his own color. Sometimes this makes for a funny looking chart, but it’s his and he’s really pleased with it.

These stickers work for very regimented kids as well as ones who like to do things a little different. Let your kid do what makes them happy. The goal isn’t to have a perfect looking chart, it’s to have a toilet-trained kid.

Step 4: Allow Changes for Improvement or Decline

Even after we started the stickers, if Graham went through a phase where he wasn’t making it to the toilet we would allow him periods of increased rewards to help encourage him. Even pops made an occasional reappearance.

On the other hand, when he started doing better we were able to tone down the rewards. That meant eventually he just got one sticker for a complete successful bathroom trip. 

Step 5: Bring It Back When You Need To

Graham’s been daytime toilet trained for months now. But we recently re-instituted the chart. He still uses a pull-up diaper at night and in the morning he often wants to keep it on for a while instead of using the toilet. This doesn’t end well for either of us. He no longer tolerates a change well and I don’t like the squirming, soiled kid. 

So the chart is back and he gets a sticker for each morning he removes his diaper while it’s just wet. I’m hoping eventually when we work on night training we can bring it back again.

You can find Potty Time Charts at CVS. Our local store carries them, but if you can’t find them you can get them online here. At just $2.99 for a chart with 40 stickers it works nicely and won’t break the bank.

Share your potty training tips and tricks in the comments, if you happen to have some awesome secrets.

The post Ending the Toilet Training Bribery appeared first on Don't Mind the Mess.

These days it just seems to take so much extra effort. I can’t just let the words flow. I have to think twice before I can get the words out. I have to make sure I’m being appropriate. I hear that normal bloggers do this all the time, but I’ve never really been a normal blogger. I like living openly and honestly. And it’s particularly hard because I feel like writing about this stuff is important and I want to do it right.

How do I talk about things without being cryptic? How do I talk about a relationship when I’m only half of it and I sometimes feel like there’s whole parts of it I don’t understand?

I don’t have the answers yet. 

And worse, there’s one big foreboding question which is quickly becoming the biggest concern.

Within a couple of days we will have two apartments. We will live separately. And we haven’t told Graham yet.

I did a little bit of googling and didn’t get much helpful advice. Be honest, all the advice says. Tell them it isn’t their fault. This is not so much my concern. What I worry about is that he won’t understand us.

The concept of feelings being hurt is one he’s still learning. (I think he still thinks getting your feelings hurt is a physical hurt.) The idea of fighting or arguing is foreign to him. He doesn’t really know what marriage is or that his parents chose a loving commitment together.

Hopefully once he understands the logistics and that we’ll be taking turns staying with him at the house, he won’t worry so much about the why. He doesn’t see us spending a lot of time together. He has seen us argue, although he doesn’t like it when we talk to each other, even if we’re having a pleasant conversation. (He prefers to be in the center of the spotlight. E and I have had to communicate via chat and email even when in the same room.) 

In a way I guess it’s easier because he won’t understand. But I’m not sure that will shield him from hurt or sadness. If he’s anything like me, not understanding will only make it seem stranger and scarier. For now I can just hope that he accepts it as just another hiccup, the way he was unquestioning and perfectly happy about us going out of state for a month last year. 

He will still have school and he’ll still have me waiting for the bus with him and picking him up off of it. He’ll still have plenty of time with his dad. Both of us will be there for soccer. And we’re talking about having dinner together once a week. He will stay in the same house and sleep in the same bed. The idea is to make things as easy for him as possible. That part doesn’t worry me so much.

I hope he can understand a little bit. And I hope he doesn’t understand. I just hope he’s as happy as we can make him, as untroubled and innocent as a 3-year-old should be.

The post Having The Talk appeared first on Don't Mind the Mess.

There are people who no longer have their mothers, people who are separated from their mothers by long distances, people who have mothers but have had to cut ties with them because of abuse or neglect or just plain hurtfulness, people who want to be mothers but aren’t, people who were mothers but aren’t anymore, people who are mothers but don’t have a partner to celebrate them. It just seems that every year more and more people I know fall into these categories.

And then there are those of us who feel like maybe we aren’t mother enough.

It’s that last thing I was thinking about when I wrote my essay for Listen To Your Mother. I found that no matter how I tried I couldn’t write a good essay about myself. Instead I came back to my mom, the person who exemplified motherhood for me. I have big shoes to fill, I’ll probably never fill them, but that’s okay.

While I know this can be a tough holiday, I wanted to send something positive into the universe today so I’m posting my essay and I hope you enjoy it. When the video is up I’ll be sure to post that as well.

***************

I am the oldest of four children. When it came time to start my own family, I wanted four children, too.

A year after my son was born, I amended that to three children.

And now that my daughter is here I’m pushing my husband to stop at two.

The fact that I ever wanted four children is a compliment to my Mom. I wanted four because she did it and she made it look easy.

Despite having all of us underfoot, my Mom always had her make-up perfectly done, she was always impeccably dressed, she always had a fantastic dinner prepared, she always had the house clean, and she always had us signed up for activities like ice skating or swim team. That’s right, my Mother is SuperMom.

As for me, I have only two children. One of them is at school five days a week. The other requires about as much supervision as a hamster. And yet I rarely put makeup on, I usually wear pajamas or yoga pants, I consider it a miracle if I have dinner made, the house is basically never clean and my kids are lucky if we get to playgroup once a month.

Because my mom so perfect, it’s not surprising that from a young age she worked hard to nurture my talents and abilities and teach me to work hard, get good grades and find places where I excel. One of those talents was music.

Before I go on, let me tell you a secret about my mom. Now that I’ve told you how great she is, I hope she’ll forgive me for sharing that she does have a flaw: my mom is tonedeaf. She can’t carry a tune. At all.

And yet through the magic of genetics, my siblings and I all inherited our father’s musical gifts. Though she can’t actually tell if we are on pitch, she always had confidence in us and was our #1 supporter and biggest fan. Not that it always worked out in our favor.

Supporting us meant not just the benefits of piano and violin and voice lessons but checking out every single musical and opera in the library’s video collection. It meant I spent hours as a young child listening to tapes telling the life stories of the great composers and playing their music. She was determined to give us a real musical education.

She was also determined to show the world what we could do. That’s where the videos came from. I’m hoping that in my lifetime not one of those suckers gets digitized and uploaded.

Imagine the 4 of us, towheaded and smiling, standing on the stairs, the three girls wearing matching Christmas jumpers and a festive sweater for my only brother, the youngest. The girls have our hair curled from having spent the night with it rolled up in our old baby socks. We sing together, we break into solos and duets. There are plodding but earnest attempts from those of us who play instruments. There are fake smiles and cheesy introductions. It’s the kind of effort only an elderly relative could enjoy.

But outside of these forced performances I loved music. When I was in high school I set my ambitions high. I had my heart set on being the best soprano in the school. I wanted to have the lead role in the school musical. I watched the girls ahead of me and imagined I would someday fill their shoes though I had no idea how I would do it.

Left to my own devices these dreams might have stayed dreams. Sure, I would’ve slowly climbed the ladder and after paying my dues I’d be rewarded my senior year just like everybody else. But what my mother lacks in musical talent she makes up for in showmanship and she saw the same possibilities that I did.

She told me I had a face for the stage. At the time I took this as a high compliment, though it strikes me now that it could be interpreted to mean one looks better far away than one does up close. She wanted me to audition for the role of Mabel in Pirates of Penzance. The role was destined for a senior girl, the current ruling soprano of the school and no one questioned the outcome, including me. A week before auditions I didn’t even know I was capable of singing those cascading high notes. I’d considered nothing more than the chorus. When Mom told me I could be Mabel (which she still adorably pronounces “May-bell”) I doubted her. After all, she had no ear for music. She didn’t know how difficult it was. She couldn’t understand how unqualified I was for one of the most difficult parts to sing in all of musical theater. But my Mom is a force of nature and, after all, I had to sing something.

So I learned the song. I practiced. And since she couldn’t help me with the singing, she helped me do one of the things she does so well: put on a good show.

I didn’t beat out that senior girl for the part. But I did get double-cast with her, surprising everyone, including myself.

There are videos of this, too, my great performance. Frozen in time for all to see: there I am, doing exactly what I wanted to do. How often does that happen? How many of these wishes ever get granted? That video tape is at my parents’ house. In it, I see myself, ringlets and braces and awkwardness and confidence, and it makes me happy to see myself doing what I wanted so badly to do.

My Mom knew I had Mabel in me, she knew it wasn’t a fluke. All my life she’s seen things in me I haven’t been able to see in myself.

I enjoy knowing that even now when we see each other and I have gained weight and wear glasses and look utterly frazzled verging on unkempt, that my Mom still sees May-bell in me. And because of that, I do, too.

The post Finding Joy on Mother’s Day appeared first on Don't Mind the Mess.

So I’ve kind of been a maniac on Facebook the last 24 hours since I got my Fetch frames. I am kind of obsessed. So to keep everyone there from killing me, here’s the first round of self-pics. And my first-ever self-pics, for the record.

To start things off I wanted a set of pictures of me with no makeup. Well, I have a smidge of eyeliner on and moisturizer, but that’s it. This is often how I go out so I want to make sure I keep it in mind. Plus it helps me get a clearer look at my face shape, the colors, etc.

So here’s the first round of pics. I’ll have my full review next week and I hope to have a set of with-makeup pics to follow in the next couple days.

I definitely have my opinions already. (Top pick: Sadie, then Alex. Carolyn is oddly growing on me though I don’t love the color.) But I also want to hear what you guys think. Some of these are available in different colors and I tried to get a variety of colors to try on. Alex, for example, has a bajillion colors but is one of the only frames with that bright blue so I gave it a whirl. If I pick it, I can always change to one of the others, like the Cadet I ordered in Jill, for example. I’m definitely wondering if the bright blue of Alex is too crazy or if it makes my eyes pop just right.

So here goes, leave comments, tell me what you think.

And sorry about the glare. It’s really hard to find good light in my apartment.

The post First Round of Fetch Eyewear Pics appeared first on Don't Mind the Mess.

It’s back, one of my favorite events of the year: the Drool Baby Expo.   

If you don’t have kiddos you may not realize how useful a baby expo is for parents. But when you’re shopping for baby gear, it’s really hard to comparison shop. No matter how big or small the store, the selection is never as varied as you like and you usually have to go to a lot of different places. And some stuff you can’t find anywhere and have to rely on internet reviews which are notoriously unreliable when it comes to baby stuff.

This is why the baby expo is the best thing ever. ALL the things are there. Plus you have the brands themselves answering your questions. And they have great deals. And Drool Baby has the swankest gift bags you’ve ever seen. Check out my recap of last year’s expo to see what I mean.

Sure, my baby is 14 (almost 15!) months old now, but the expo is great for parents of toddlers, babies and parents-to-be. Also they have treats and prizes and spa treatments and more. Even if you’re not sure what you need, you can still have a delightful time.

Tickets are $35 and include a gift bag. And if you want to bring a friend or spouse you can get them a value ticket for just $15 that won’t include the gift bag. Let me tell you: these gift bags cost more than the price of a ticket. No. Joke. Plus if you’re looking to buy any big gear you’ll save a lot more than that, too. Last year I bought our Diono Radian car seat at Drool Baby and saved a bundle. (Diono could hire me as a spokesperson. I love them so much.) 

My favoritest thing, though, isn’t the big brands with their big gear. It’s all the local boutiques and brands you didn’t know about that you’ll find.  Like last year when I discovered Tiny Hanger and their super adorable shop in Coolidge Corner. Or Kaya’s Kloset and her super cute cloth shoes for baby. If you love local, it’s a great time to find wonderful stuff near you. And if that isn’t enough, just take a peek at some of the stuff I saw and loved last year…

And lucky you, I’m giving away a pair of tickets (1 standard, 1 value) to a reader. Woohoo! So please enter, and if you don’t win, head on over to Drool Baby’s site to snatch up a ticket for yourself. The Expo is Tuesday May 21 from 4 to 9 pm at the Westin Waterfront Hotel in the Seaport District. (Speaking of which, how much do I love the Seaport district? So much awesome stuff there of late.)

To Enter:

• 1 mandatory entry: leave a comment with what you’ll be shopping for at the expo.
• 1st bonus entry: Make sure you follow me  and Drool Baby and then tweet the following “Win a pair of tickets from @jessicaesquire to Boston’s event for all things baby-gear @droolbaby expo! http://ow.ly/kMOy9 ” Leave the URL of your tweet in a comment.
• 2nd bonus entry: Make sure you’re following me on Pinterest and then re-pin something from my Best of Drool Baby Pinterest board from last year’s expo. Make sure you re-pin with the hashtag #droolbaby  Leave the URL of your pin in a comment.
• You can do either bonus entry or both or neither. Your call. But you MUST leave a mandatory entry.

Rules: No purchase necessary. By leaving a comment you agree to the rules of this giveaway. One entry per household. Limited to entrants over 18 in the US and Canada. Contest begins as of the time of this post and ends on Tuesday, May 14th at 6 pm Eastern Time. The winner will receive a standard ticket and a value ticket to the Drool Baby Expo, a retail value of $50 US. The number of eligible entries received will determine the odds of winning. The winner will be selected using the “And the Winner Is” plugin. Winner will be notified by email and must respond within 24 hours to receive their prize. If the winner does not respond within that time, a new winner will be chosen. The prize will be provided by Magic Beans. Don’t Mind the Mess is not responsible for any problems with receipt of the prize. This contest is governed by the rules of Massachusetts, void where prohibited.

The post Boston’s Drool Baby Expo 2013 appeared first on Don't Mind the Mess.

So I want to sit down and write about them. I want to write about how fantastically talkative Graham is, the almost unbelievable progress he’s made since he started school. His enthusiasm, his optimism, his budding extroversion. His new predilection for nail polish. His first practices for soccer. His constant requests to “go eat somewhere” even though he never eats any real meals.

I want to write about Tessa and how despite the way she is clinging to babyhood and taking her sweet time growing up and finding her way so I can get to know her better, she is still a beauty with a magnetic personality. People cannot stop looking at her and touching her toes and fingers. She may have an unmanageable pile of hair on her little head, but she remains a mostly calm and happy and smiley baby who warms up to people as quickly as a microwave.

But it’s hard for me to fill a post with it. It’s hard for me to fill a post with anything. Monday is supposed to be my write-whatever-you-damn-well-please day but today the freedom is a kind of captivity. My brain is jumpy and unsettled. I do not know what to say about anything.

At home things are in a strange and uncomfortable limbo while we wait for the sublet to open up next week and give us the space we need more every day. This week we have our first appointment with a new couple’s counselor. I have been inundated and almost overwhelmed by messages of support and love and friendship.

People keep asking me what they can do and I don’t have any real answers for them. By now I am used to doing things alone. And I don’t just mean watching the kids and putting them to bed and waking up with them in the morning and any time they may need it at night. I mean everything. Doctor’s appointments. Evaluations. School meetings. Playgroups. Family events. Even Listen To Your Mother  on Saturday had me as one of the few without a family cheering section. I am too used to it, and yet it is a lot harder now even if the events themselves haven’t really changed. The emptiness feels bigger and sadder.

I find myself unexpectedly vulnerable. It strikes me at strange times in strange places. 

While my day-to-day has changed so little, everything inside has changed immensely. Now I find myself facing two vastly different versions of my future instead of the single version I’d been looking at for so many years now. I can’t really see either of them clearly, but the fact that there’s this fork in the road is becoming more and more real.

I wish all of this made writing easier. Back in the day, my journal was always at its best in times of crisis. But these days I feel stuck, at least when it comes to writing about myself. (Usually my very favorite activity.) 

Meanwhile, I’m going to try to pull my camera out more often and take more pictures of the kids. That way, even if I can’t write what I feel at least I can show you how lovely they are.

The post The Easiest Things Are Now The Hardest appeared first on Don't Mind the Mess.

NOS4A2 by Joe Hill

Do you miss 80′s horror? Those giant doorstop books with tough heroes and creepy baddies? Those books that were part adventure and part creep-fest? Well, it’s back in a big way with NOS4A2 by Joe Hill. (If you find that title confusing, just look at the cover and think Nosferatu.)

I read this book and I saw old-school Stephen King… if he hadn’t been quite so drunk all the time. This book has a powerful story and a powerful protagonist, Vic McQueen. She has a strange and special gift to find lost things, but it takes a toll on her sanity. She’s troubled, she’s kickass, she’s determined. Basically, she’s awesome. If you’ve read Joe Hill’s previous novels (Horns and Heart-Shaped Box) you already know he has a real gift for creating unique and interesting protagonists. He definitely keeps up the streak here. 

As for the bad guy, Charlie Manx is plenty creepy. And for many of us, the whole idea of a bad guy tied up with all things Christmas is going to make us very happy this book didn’t come out in December so we have some time to recover before another holiday season is upon us.

Like his other novels, I don’t think you have to be a horror reader to enjoy Hill. He has a very readable, playful style that would make this a great beach read.

For the Kobo
For the Kindle
For the Nook

 

Someday, Someday, Maybe by Lauren Graham

Switching gears, if you still haven’t recovered from the demise of Gilmore Girls then I have a book for you. Lauren Graham (aka Lorelei Gilmore) has written her first novel, Someday, Someday, Maybe. 

My first question was, “Can Lauren Graham write?” My second question was, “How does Lauren Graham write?”

The answers are “Yes” and “Exactly the way you’d expect her to.”

Someday, Someday, Maybe is about Franny who lives in New York City and wants to make it as an actress… but she knows she can’t wait tables forever. She has a deadline before she ditches her dream to marry her backup guy, and that deadline is coming fast. 

You can tell Graham has lived this life. It feels very insider… though it’s not anything close to a glamorous life. Still, it’s lots of fun to go behind the scenes when Franny scores a commercial and to see all the crazy effort that goes into a 30-second spot for laundry detergent. 

Franny has Lauren/Lorelei’s quick wit and she’ll definitely keep you giggling. 

Bonus: Lauren Graham reads the audiobook. 

For the Kobo
For the Kindle
For the Nook

The post Book Reviews: NOS4A2 & Someday, Someday, Maybe appeared first on Don't Mind the Mess.