Since Tessa was born we get stopped a lot. People tell me she’s beautiful. They like to dote on her. I totally get that. I, too, have a bit of a baby-staring problem. Sometimes I want to tell people, “No, it’s okay. I have a baby, too. It’s cool. I’m just checking out your baby. It’s all good.” Though come to think of it, I’m not sure this would help much.
One thing that I hear a lot during these encounters is “Treasure this time.”
It’s happened often enough that I’m now easily able to say, “Thanks. I do.” But it always makes me think.
I figure the story behind this statement is one of two things. Either 1) they’re a lover of little children and they miss them in their life, or 2) they weren’t great with their little children and now find that they missed out.
The second scenario is the one that leaves me a little queasy. Because I am not much of a baby person. You could go broader and say I’m not a little kid person. And here I am in the Years of Young Children.
Recently I’ve taken some comfort in recognizing that the Years of Young Children don’t last forever. I needed this comfort because in the thick of it it feels like this will be your whole life. Diapers and night feedings and irrational bargaining and constant requests for SNACK SNACK SNACK PWEEEEEZE.
It’s nice to look around and see people whose kids are older. It’s nice when they say, “I remember those days.” It’s nice when you see their not-so-little kids using complex sentences and building talents. It’s nice to know that someday that will be me. And I will be able to comfort another mother and say, “I remember those days.”
When someone tells me “Treasure this time” I have to wonder if they were like me and are wishing they’d done things different. But our little interlude never includes any words of advice.
So I’m starting the New Year without any specific plan to be a better mother. I’m just going to do what I can. I don’t know if I can call it “treasuring” this time. But I’m making it through.
There is a big empty spot in my dining room today. When I convinced Max to pass along the kitchen set, I was thrilled to get it out of there after all these years. But after you guys left with it, I seem to keep going back to that spot. No way in hell do I want that kitchen back, but oh my is it a marker of the passage of time.
I don’t think I particularly love little kids – I’m happy to move past the diapers and I love the people they are becoming now. I don’t think it’s part two for me either, as I’d like to think I was a pretty decent mom to them as young children. But there is something about the time that we cannot get back, whether it’s time spent with babies, high school glory days, newlywed status. Maybe it’s just about the general idea of getting older. Maybe we can’t treasure it until it’s gone.
Cheryl recently posted..2012 in Pictures
I agree with Cheryl. No matter how cliche, it goes way too fast. It’s the getting older part and knowing LIFE itself, is flying by. I also can’t imagine not being able to remember any of it because of the passing of time, like how could I forget ANY details? What they said, how they made me laugh, etc. Thank GOD for the blog!
Stowed Stuff recently posted..13 Wishes for the New Year
Here’s the big question – do you already miss their younger phases? If not, I wouldn’t worry too much. I think everyone has their favourite age. PH did NOT treasure the baby years and I don’t think he’ll ever lose much sleep over that, largely because he DID lose so much sleep DURING those years. But I think he’ll treasure the little kid years.
I treasure it all, but I also am discovering that each new age is better than the age before it…
If By Yes recently posted..Resolutions I Can Get Behind
I love this post. I wrote once about how I have no patience with my little kids
Oops, sorry. I wrote about my lack of patience and how the young-kid stage isn’t really my forte. I was always better with – believe it or not – tweens and teens when I was a babysitter/camp counselor. However. My 6yo is already driving me mad with her mood swings, so I’m not so sure how the tween/teens are going to do around here. Maybe I just have no patience for my own kids. Sigh.
JD @ Honest Mom recently posted..My 2-word New Year’s Resolution may sound simplistic. But it’s not.
I am starting to think that the key to treasuring your kids is taking lots of video for you to enjoy when they’re older.
LOL. Yep, that’s probably exactly right.
JD @ Honest Mom recently posted..5 Simple Ways I’m Reconnecting with My Husband
I agree that everyone has their phase of child rearing that they like or dislike. I find myself looking back ay Angel’s baby pics and doing lotsa ooooohs and aaaaahhhhs. The sleepness nights and wondering why he could barely keep food down are distant memories. He is only five so I am waiting to see what will end up being my favorite phase . Btw people sure do love to tell new parents to treasure this time.
[...] Jessica Severson @ Don’t Mind the Mess talks about the treasures of time. [...]