Parental Guidance Suggested

During the week we’re rather stingy with the TV viewing, but on the weekends and in the evenings, the Bug gets to watch a show. He usually gets to pick, although I draw the line at stuff like Bob the Builder, which I find too annoying to bear. With Netflix Streaming available, he’s got more Thomas the Tank Engine than he could ever ask for along with other favorites like Wonder Pets.

But what has the Bug been wanting lately? March of the Penguins.

I’m assuming you’ve seen it, because at some point in the mid ’00′s, everyone did. It is about 60% adorable and 40% super super super depressing. And it’s all mixed together. So at one point you’ll be cooing over a baby penguin. Next minute, dead frozen baby penguin.

The Bug seems to have a specific kind of preference when it comes to movies. Many of his favorites fall into the same niche.

venn Parental Guidance Suggested

I’ve written before about Dumbo and how awful it is. Bambi isn’t so great either. Also included, Up, which still gets me in its initial sequence.

I swear this kid is doing it just to mess with me. I’d almost take Thomas over this stuff. At least in the world of Thomas there is the comfort of knowing that the trains are all obnoxious jerks and that’s as bad as it’s ever going to get. Even when the freight cars fall into the ravine there doesn’t seem to be any lasting damage. Worst case scenario: the carnival starts a few minutes late and someone needs a new coat of paint.

You just can’t really win with kids shows, can you? They’re either annoying or murderous.

I’d love to indulge the Bug’s current interest in nature documentaries, but they tend to be too high stakes. So basically, they’re too real. The Bug is not ready for real. He is not ready for a world where Bambi’s mother is shot and Dumbo’s mother is locked in a cage and some poor penguin’s mother is devoured. Fortunately he’s so not ready that he doesn’t realize most of this is happening. But I do. And I’m done.

So please, someone, make a no-penguins-dying movie for Netflix, for my sanity’s sake?

8 Responses to Parental Guidance Suggested

  1. Hannah says:

    I know this was meant to be a serious post but this line – “Worst case scenario: the carnival starts a few minutes late and someone needs a new coat of paint” – made me do the snort-laugh. Ah, Thomas. I first made his acquaintance back in 2006 and he’s around the house. Horror show.
    Hannah recently posted..in which Baby G is 4 months

    • Jess says:

      Meh, it’s half-serious. I do get all panicky when the bird chases the baby penguins and tries to get them in its beak. But otherwise I just hate the crazy juxtaposition.

      I used to hate Thomas a lot more, but as I’m exposed to more stuff I realize he’s not so bad. Although computer-animated Thomas is just creepy.

  2. If By Yes says:

    How about Happy Feet? That’s not depressing. Gaggingly saccharine and poorly plotted, but not sad.
    If By Yes recently posted..In Which Carol Takes Fiction Way Too Seriously

  3. If By Yes says:

    OH OH OH! There is a great combination of natural history and kid movie out there – it’s called Animals Are Beautiful People. It’s made by the same dude who made The Gods Must Be Crazy, and it’s a documentary on the animals of Africa.

    Sort of.

    But he uses a lot of exaggeration, humor, anthropmorphisation, and some extremely well-timed and humorous applications of songs from the Nutcracker suite. I loved it as a child, and have already tracked down a copy for Owl when he’s older. You may want to give it a try. Maybe it’s on Netflix?
    If By Yes recently posted..In Which Carol Takes Fiction Way Too Seriously

  4. awww poor penguins.

    I could not understand for the life of me why they have so much death and sadness in kids movies. I know penguins get eaten in real life, but do little kids need to know that at such a young age??

    Good luck ast forwarding through the scary parts.
    nicole @ I am a Honey Bee recently posted..Little Boys Jump LO: Day 8- KP’s Sketchbook 4

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