Conquering Our Picky Eater

A few months ago our lead therapist was transferred off the Bug’s case and replaced by a new one. Our new therapist told us he’d seen our old one recently and the first thing she asked was, “How’s he doing with food?”

Not a surprising question. But I bet she was surprised by our new therapist’s reaction, he seemed kind of puzzled. “He’s doing great!” We’ve reached some big milestones lately and I thought we’d cover how we got here.

Eating can be an issue with any toddler, so I don’t think this is isolated to autistic kids. The kid who eats anything and then nothing is an age-old tale. (My brother only ate peanut butter sandwiches or spaghetti with clam sauce for most of his childhood.)

At 12 months the Bug was a reliable eater of solids. He ate pretty much anything, including my Mexican Casserole. He got lots of veggies, especially zucchini and carrots. And he already had his abiding love for raisins. It stayed that way for a while.

Around 17 months this changed. A lot. The Bug became a grazer.

There were two major contributors. First, the Bug became very picky and wouldn’t eat many foods he would have accepted before. I don’t know why this happened, but it did. Second, we ran into some serious communication problems.

It was around this time that I started worrying about the Bug’s communication, which ultimately led to his autism diagnosis a couple months later. The Bug began to get picky and wanted specific things to eat. But he had no way of letting me know. He wasn’t yet pointing. He wasn’t talking. He would stand at the gate to the kitchen and get more and more upset as I tried to find what he wanted.

It was brutal for both of us. I compensated by putting out little bowls of almost everything. I couldn’t give him raisins all day (which is probably what he wanted) but he had no way of understanding when I told him ” no more raisins.” For several months, much of my day consisted of ever-escalating crying and screaming from the Bug as I helplessly tried to meet his requests.

Eventually we began introducing some new foods and saw a little improvement. Cereal, crackers and frozen go-gurts became staples. But mostly we continued to work around his temper.

When therapy started, there was a heavy focus on communication. Once the groundwork was set, we focused on responding positively to his requests. If he asked for food, he got it. Sometimes he would ask for something particular. Sometimes he’d go into the kitchen and point. So he was still a grazer, eating what he wanted when he felt like it. But he was eating something and he wasn’t as upset. We took it as a win.

Around the time Graham turned 2, we focused on having him eat one or two bites of one food before he could get another food he liked better. It didn’t go too badly, but we found out from the pediatrician that Graham was underweight. I had a few explanations for this. Graham had stopped drinking whole milk and mostly requested water when summer came. Plus he would sometimes forget about eating all together when he was caught up in play. So we went back to his grazing style, though we started to incorporate more foods to try and made sure he was getting plenty to eat.

One thing I did that made a lot of the communication-focus period easier was finding foods I could feed the Bug quickly once he asked for them. Fruit was great (apples, bananas) so are the fruit/veggie pouches. Granola bars. Cereal. Cottage Cheese. Applesauce. Frozen waffles. Frozen chicken. Brown rice. Anything microwaveable had to be ready in less than a minute. It made the system a lot easier when he got his request met quickly.

As time passed, this became less urgent. I started giving him pasta, which he had to wait for while it cooked. He didn’t like waiting, but waiting was one of his programs in therapy so it was a word he understood. He started to understand the concept of getting food “hot.”

Finally we found ourselves with a Bug who was back at a healthy weight and who could request any of his foods. It took several months but now he specifies what granola bar he wants by the color wrapper. (Orange for peanut butter, purple for oatmeal raisin, etc.) He knows an orange must be peeled. He will request some foods hot.

So what was the next challenge?

Now that we’d overcome communication and made food something the Bug knew he could access, it was time to add structure.

My new attempts started last week. I was a little ambitious and decided to add 2 things at once.

First, I wanted to get vegetables back into his repertoire. Every couple months I try and fail, but this time I felt like we have the vocabulary to talk it through. I also suspected he’d eat more than he let on. Another advantage of his time in daycare this fall was that I saw what he ate every day and got good reports that he’d eat his food. I suspected he avoided new foods in part because he was at home where he knew he could get what he wanted.

Second, I wanted to institute more formal meal and snack times. Therapy is often interrupted by Graham’s requests for food, so I decided he would now have Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner. And a snack in the morning and afternoon. There are already meal time pictures for his visual schedule so it was easy to get that started.

When it’s meal time I call the meal by name. Sometimes I choose items for him, sometimes we talk about what he wants. If he’s getting a treat I let him choose it. Or if it’s a granola bar or cereal he can choose which kind. At meals I serve him two or more items and a drink. The biggest challenge right now is trying to contain mealtime within 30 minutes. He is constantly up and about.

I’m hopeful that as he gets more used to it that we will move meals to the dining room (right now he does them at the table in the living room where he does therapy). The eventual goal is to have him eat dinner with us when possible. That would be a great improvement over now, when we can never eat until the Bug’s gone to bed.

As for veggies, I started simple with green beans, peas, corn and carrots. For ease and simplicity I’m using canned for now. At our first attempt, I used green beans and the Bug eyed them warily. He ate all of his chicken but couldn’t be bothered to touch the beans. I told him he could have his “treat” (I believe it was one of his granola bars) if he ate one bean.

The Bug is quite the actor and he did a good job of picking up a bean, inspecting it, putting it down, putting a bean on a fork, moving it toward his face, putting it in his mouth, and then pulling it right back out. But eventually he ate the bean. And then he ate all the rest. As I suspected, it was all about the first step.

Since then he has requested veggies at lunch in addition to having them at dinner. We’ve been successful with all 4 veggies. Our one hiccup was when I gave him peas & carrots, which he finds disturbing for reasons I can’t discern as he likes both peas and carrots. (Perhaps he will be one of those my-foods-can’t-touch kids?)

So far it’s been a great success despite a couple bumps in the road. I’ve ordered a booster seat so Graham can sit at the dining room table (once we actually set it up…. that’s another story) and I’m planning to continue to expand his palate.

What I’d love to hear from you is how you got your picky toddlers to turn back into normal food-eating kids. In particular the Bug needs more protein in his diet and I’m curious about which meats or beans I should introduce him to and how to do it. I still rely heavily on foods that take minimal preparation and plan to keep it that way for a while so I don’t mess with a good thing. Perhaps one of those microwave-egg things? He used to eat lots of scrambled eggs but hasn’t taken to them lately.

Any tips you can share about getting your toddler to eat meals or new foods?

Related Posts:

• So Long, 2011
• Some Heavenly Peace
• State of the Bug: November 2011